Sometimes I think... Couldn't they have been a little more creative?

Thirty day challenge day two: The meaning behind your name.

Gah, my name is so average, and common. You want to hear something that’s ridiculous?! When I was in six grade I once had a class with 7 other girls with the same name as me! Granted, the class had 60 or so people, but that’s really crazy! My name was also the number one girl name chosen the year I was born, GO FIGURE.

After researching my name, Brittany, and looking for its meaning, it’s been slightly a disappointing search. I once read somewhere that Brittany meant daughter of God, but I have been unable to find any further documentation or proof. My name is a derivative of a town in Britain. So basically it means to be from Britain. How boring is that? But further reading led me to the discovery that the name Brittany in Latin terms also means strong and beautiful. I’ll take that!

I then began researching my middle name, Ann and I actually expected to receive a good response, merely because Ann just seems to have more meaning behind it, or it could just be because Brittany is so common, and I really kind of don’t like it. Ann means favored grace. At first I didn’t really understand what that meant, but it relates back to Hebrew which led me to believe that it has a biblical reference to it. My second name basically means a gift of God's favor full of grace. :)

I’ve always been curious as to why my Mother named me Brittany Ann, it’s very similar to my older sister’s name, Tiffany Lynn. People often thought we were twins when I was in Elementary school, although she was almost two full years older than me. It confused me though because we don’t even really look alike and I was two grades behind her. I guess that would make me the dumb twin.

Even though I don’t know why my mother named me Brittany, I do know why she chose my middle name as Ann. I was named after my mother’s eldest sister, Carol Ann. :) Knowing that makes me extremely happy, Carol is a very kindhearted, genuine woman.

It's fun to think of what I will name my children one day. I guess I will never truly know until I get to that point. When I was younger I would always name my dolls Elizabeth Michelle, I always said that I would name my daughter that one day... then about ten months later I got a cousin named that! So I guess that name's out. I want something more unique and meaningful anyways. I don't want my child to have a name that's so common that they could possibly have a class with 7 other kids with the same name. That doesn't necessarily mean I want to give them a name that will ridicule them either, there's already enough Tommy Pickles in the world!

I'm actually rather a hippie at heart, so I am very tempted to one day name my child more on the "earthy" side, if that makes any sense, but no where near as hippie as naming my child Green Leafy Meadows. That actually did happen. My mother works in pediatrics and they have a patient named that! (They also have a Tommy Pickles too!)

The craziest one they have that I can remember is a foreign family that had two kids. The first name Abcde. Not even kidding. You pronounce it Ab-C-dee. The second one they named Fghi, and you pronounce it Figi. Crazy right?

At least their children can learn their ABC's and how to write their name at the same time!

I will more than likely name my child something biblical, you can't really go wrong with that. A name that is beautiful, AND has meaning. :)

BUT that is many, many MANY years from now!

Until Next time!

"Today, my friend and I went to use the bathroom in my school.

On the mirror someone had written with a Sharpie 'Don't worry. You're beautiful.'

The person who wrote that GMH"

Day one of the 30 day challenge? I got this.

Who has two thumbs and didn’t wake up until 12:30?? THIS GIRL.


That’s extremely late in comparison to when I normally wake up, but it’s totally okay with me because I didn’t go to bed until 4 or 5.

Today marks DAY 1 of my thirty day challenge. The task for today is pretty simple “tell ten things about yourself.” It’s simple not because it’s easy for me to talk about myself, because in actuality, sometimes it’s not (flashback to APO initiation night = AHHH!) but merely because I’ve done this one before. Out of facebook boredom, and in need of something to do at work I have achieved this task once or twice.

1. I have a little brother named Matthew. Technically he is my cousin. He is three years old, and he came to live with us in July. He is technically not my foster brother or adoptive brother, he just lives with us, but I consider him to be my brother. It’s strange to see my parents start all over, I will be 20 this year, and they are going back to having a child in the house.

2. Oh to see the world in the eyes of a child again…
Sometimes I find myself imagining my life as if I were still the little girl that I once was. It’s strange to think that in a few short months I will be twenty years old. I feel like there is so much I was never allowed to do as a child, and now as an adult I can’t do them, but it’s okay, because hopefully one day I will have kids of my own.

3. I got a Charlie Brown Christmas Pageant nativity scene for Christmas from my Mom. It’s pretty adorable. Especially considering I was in that play when I was in fifth grade. Did I actually get cast in a speaking role? Nope! Even though I was in gifted and talented for acting. It was all about the “popular kids” and the suck ups, and I just didn’t meet the quota... I thought my gym teacher, who was the director, (weird, right?) was a jerk anyhow. I really didn’t like her. Now, she seems pretty sweet. She also has three children now, and one of them has a medical condition that I can’t quite remember, but things like that put a new perspective in an individual’s eyes.

4. I really want to apply for FUGE camps, but there are so many things that are leaving me hesitant. I don’t know if I am fully qualified. I feel as if I have fallen away from the person I have used to be, I don’t know if it’s just because I am growing up and I see so many things of the world differently, or the fact that I don’t have a strong bible study, or close knit group of Christians at the moment. Another thing is, I’m afraid to be away for three months. I know that is crazy and selfish, but it’s true. Especially because I will miss my little brother, and Nathan. Also, the fact that you can’t choose where you will be. I worked for Boone’s Creek last year, I loved it so, but I don’t know how I feel about it anymore. Last year was definitely not what I expected. It was a hard summer, and I’m still being criticized by others for it. God had it be the way he wanted it to be though, and I still have lasting relationships with some of my campers, so that’s all that matters.

5. I haven’t been to the beach since I was around the age of 8, and I am currently planning my FIRST spring break trip EVER to the beach. I am so so SO excited!! I really hope that it all works according to plan and that no one bails on me so it will pan out smoothly. I have a friend who is currently living in Orlando and her parents have offered us not one but two condos for an entire week at only $100 each! That’s craziness right there! I just have to start saving money after I get all of my bills paid, which may be awhile.. But in 9 WEEKS I will hopefully be ON A BEACH, probably getting burnt as crap, because I’m so white. Haha. BUT YEAH.

6. I once had a funeral for a mouse. It wasn’t even a pet mouse. It was a mouse that had been hiding out in my room and giving me issues for a week or so. My mom made me put out rat poisoning and the next day I found the mousey dead. I felt so bad, so I called my friend Gabbi and she said a few words for him, and then we laid the (very stinky, smelly, half ripped open dead carcass) mousey to rest in the black abyss of a garbage bag where he spent the rest of his days on earth.

7. I “met” an extremely good friend of mine, Kelsie, through the Omegle website one day last year, when I was uber bored. We talk for hours before we actually introduced who we were, and now I consider her a good friend. The sucky thing is the fact that she lives in Canada. I hope to visit her someday and meet her precious son Kevin, who of which is due to be born soon! <3 It’s kind of funny that It happened that way. But I am definitely glad it did!

8. I have the absolute worst luck with phones! They never seem to last long with me and I don’t know why! AND IT SUCKS! I just bought a new one a few days ago, hopefully it will be here by New Year’s but I don’t really know. Fingers crossed at having it last longer than the three months of life that my phones generally have. I'm getting the phone to the left. It's a pantech link. It will probably not work out, because they never do. But It was on sale, and in my price range, so that's why I picked it!

9. I love to cook, but I rarely actually get to. I look forward to the day when I have a kitchen of my own, and hopefully the money to buy the food I wish. I also love to bake. I make a pretty mean banana cream pie from scratch. I haven’t made it in awhile, but I hope to do so someday soon. I want to learn more about cooking and get better at it. Yay food.

10. I will be buying my first car in a few months. A very good friend of mine, Sarah is letting me buy her first car for a very small sum of money. I am so excited. I hope that I can finally get all of my aspects of live together and actually get to drive it sometime soon. I need my license, I need a car. I need an escape. Life will seem a lot less trapped once I have my license, I can tell you that right now!


Well originally this was supposed to be fifteen things about you, but I condensed it to ten. I didn’t think anyone really wanted to sit there and read more so I stopped. This thirty day challenge seems like it's going to be a breeze, I guess I will find out.

Until next time...

"Today I was helping deliver goody bags to kids at an inner-city school.

One of the items in the bag was a pair of socks. When a little boy saw them, a smile lit up his entire face.

He took off his shoes and placed them on his bare feet. "Ooh, so warm!" he said.

Kids who feel grateful for the things others take for granted GMH.

The gauntlet has been thrown. Thirty Day Challenge, you are going DOWN.

I have been contemplating my next blog all day, and many different topics of interest have crossed my mind, but they flew by just as quickly as they came leaving me unable to grasp a hold of the thought before it faded into oblivion. I am attempting to really try and achieve my goal of blogging on a regular basis, if not even daily. That’s when the thought of the thirty day challenge appeared. I’ve seen the thirty day challenge numerous times from many different social networking sites, such as, facebook and tumblr, and I have decided that it may very well be the perfect thing to get me into the swing of blogging. Merely this is so because basically it does the work for me. It gives me a topic to speak about, every day, for the next thirty days. Although it is the thirty day challenge, let’s hope that one doesn’t assume that I am going to actually do them every day for the next thirty days, I will try to do everyone of them though, it just may not be EVERY SINGLE DAY in a row or anything. Or that I will only blog of such, because who knows? Maybe I will have something very important that I need to get off my chest, which then of course I will more than likely side track from the thirty day challenge, we will face that when it comes.

I have compiled a list of thirty subjects/topics/questions from the numerous thirty day challenges I have seen over the past year, and hopefully I will enjoy this enough to finish it.

Day 1: 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 2: The meaning behind your name.
Day 3: Share a recipe.
Day 4: About your friends.
Day 5: A photo of something you really hate.
Day 6: A song that makes you cry.
Day 7: A hobby of yours.
Day 8: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 9: Your definition of love.
Day 10: Your best friend.
Day 11: A letter to one of your exes.
Day 12: About your family.
Day 13: Something you feel strongly about.
Day 14: Something you love about yourself.
Day 15: Something you want to do before you die.
Day 16: A photo that makes you smile.
Day 17: A photo that makes you want to cry.
Day 18: A letter to someone you miss.
Day 19: A habit you wish you didn’t have.
Day 20: A letter to your parents.
Day 21: Short goals you wish to fulfill by the end of the month.
Day 22: Your nicknames & why you have them.
Day 23: What you would find in your bag.
Day 24: A song that makes you smile.
Day 25: How you found out about blogger & why you made one.
Day 26: First 10 songs to play on shuffle on your iPod.
Day 27: Your fashion style.
Day 28: What attracts you to someone.
Day 29: Future plans/goals.
Day 30: Who are you?

By the time I get to day 30, maybe I will have a little more insight on myself, and others. ALSO: Hopefully I will have continued my blog for thirty more entries!

This is one of my shorter blogs, merely because I’m leading up to future blogs to come, but I most definitely cannot end it without at least sharing some thoughtful words, or even giving of a little hope.

People always look down upon my age and generation.

What they don’t seem to realize… not everyone is the annoying punkster walking through their front yard killing their fichus.

“Today we had a pep rally at my high school.

A special needs boy that has a senior brother on the football team stood up and sang and dedicated the song to his brother.

The whole school stood up and sang along with him and I have never seen so many high school students and football players crying.

My generation GMH”

Give a stranger one of your smiles, it might be the only sunshine they see.

Today has been such a frustrating day. I woke up to a screaming three year old, who in return received screaming from a 25 year old, and who in return thought it’d be fun to scream at me. WHOPPEE. Bye, bye good mood that was viciously sucked down the drain.

People often say that I let things get to me far too easily, but having constant issues with my family it gets kind of tiring. You expect your home to be the place that you can be yourself, happy and loved, but the sad reality is that is rarely the truth… for anyone these days.

What happened to home is where the heart is? Or home sweet home? It seems like a fake wish that rarely anyone strives for anymore. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my family, and I love being around them, I just don’t like being here for long periods of time. I feel trapped here. Nothing I say is the right thing, I rarely do the right thing, and I feel constantly as if I am doing wrong.

It definitely takes a toll on someone when they are reminded, verbally, or sublimely on a daily basis that they just aren’t up to par. More often than not the person delivering these messages of inadequacy they don’t even realize how much of impact that are making. An impact that one day could potentially end up negatively.

I read a story a few weeks ago, and have wanted to share but have yet to find the right opportunity.

One day a man a man jumped off the golden gate bridge. When the police went searching through his house they found a note.

“Todαy I will wαlk to the bridge. If αnyone smiles αt me, I won't jump.”

I don’t know if I believe that the story is true, but either way I make it a point to smile at everyone now. Or at least I try to. Its simple things like that, that possess such a power and the ability to touch someone’s life and we don’t even realize.

As human beings we strive to know that we are not alone, that we are not crazy, or insane in the membrane, that there are other people out there that think as we do, live as we do and love as we do. To know that we are accepted just the way we are.

Let me give you something to ponder… If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, majority of the time it’s not because they enjoy being alone, It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. But here’s the thing… When you have expectations of others, and those expectations don’t pan out, that’s when you fill yourself up with disappointment. Don’t expect so much of others; instead think of the little things they do, and cherish the thought and time may have spent to do them.


"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles, it might be the only sunshine they see."

One day, I was walking in the mall with my friends when the lady in front of us turns around and says to me "You have on the cutest outfit today." Smiles then returns talking on her cell phone. The part that gets me the most is that she stopped dead in conversation just to give me a compliment. The world needs more people like her. Random smiles GMH.

Forever has to start somewhere.

It’s Crazy. Simply crazy I tell you. What is crazy, you may be asking? Well the fact that I haven’t updated my blog in such a long time, practically three quarters of a year! I am slightly disappointed in myself for once again failing at this thing called blogging.

There’s no telling how many times I started a blog though, there have been countless moments of me beginning one and never finishing it, or finishing it and not submitting it. I don’t get. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore the whole idea of blogging, I just simple can’t stick with it.

I really, really hope that one day I will be able to though. I love the ability to get my thoughts down and have them to share with others. Also, it archives a certain point and aspect of my life at the time that I write it, I can look back on and reminisce on with new eyes. Eyes that slightly are bit wiser and understanding of the events that were happening in my life that at that point in time I may not have understood.

My last blog was a tough one. One that I sometimes don’t even want to read because it reminds me of things that once used to be. It was a blog that held a sense of hope of a better tomorrow, but underneath the facade of the words I wrote I was filled with a broken heart, and sorrow. I felt as if I were in a rut. I was at the point of my life where I knew that things were really not as bad as they seemed and that they would one day get much better, it was just the whole waiting process for that day to come that I was having difficulty with.

Looking back on that time in my life now, I do not have any regrets. I don’t wish to go back and change the way that things ended up. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize the way my life is now. Things are finally starting to come together it seems, although there are still times when I feel as if my life is continually falling apart. I can now say with confidence, for the FIRST time in my life, I feel as if I have found that one person that I am truly meant to be with. That’s so strange and surreal to me. For once things just fit together wholly and naturally. I have found someone that loves me for me. Someone who I know is never going anywhere. Someone that no matter how many times I screw up, or do terrible things, still cares about me and helps me through any obstacle I face.



Sometimes I feel as if I push my limits merely to see if he will leave, or if things really aren’t as great as they seem. That’s a terrible flaw of mine. It’s hard to consistently keep faith in something that has always been dreamed of but always remained foreign. That silly little word called love.

A true and working relationship requires so much work, and I am so glad to say that I have found someone who thinks that I am worth the effort. Nathan Joseph Underwood. <3

He is my rock, my supporter, my best friend. He is who I go to when I’m in need. He’s who I go to when I want to have fun. I thank God as often as I can for him, but nearly enough. We worship Christ together, and I love it. It’s really the simple things that we share that make me love him more and more each day. I am so lucky to have him, and I hope I never take that for granted.

Next month will be our six month anniversary. I can’t even believe it.

I was so hesitant coming into the relationship. I had no idea what was in store for me, whatsoever.

It was a GIANT leap of fate, and he caught me, telling me that “Forever has to start somewhere.”

Things are always ending. Whether it is a day, the month, the season, the year, or simply just life, so the thought of forever constituting the fact of having something that never ends? It scares the poppycock out of me.
Or maybe the thing that scares me the most is…

He’s right.
Forever DOES have to start somewhere.

And now it’s my turn to take my writings of my previous blog and apply them to the here and now.

Nathan Joseph Underwood, I, without a doubt in my heart and soul would just like you to know…
You are my second.

Who cares if we have so much more life ahead of us? Who cares if everyone thinks we’re crazy? Who cares if my heart and mind have battled long?

It’s our time now.

I thank the people in your life that have loved you. I thank the people in your life that you have loved. I thank the people that have crushed you. I thank the people that have made you who you are so that you are able to love me.

I leave you with this:
Love is the most dangerous and addictive drug out there, but it leaves you with a high like no other. One that is worth all the risks of this world.

"Remember when I said forever and always, I meant it. I will always love you, no matter what."

Your unconditional love throughout everything GMH.

L-O-V-E aint all that junk that you see on T.V.

Because lately...
I just keep hearing people blame love..
but love doesn't walk away.

People do.





Sometimes I hate it when others say they have given up on love. I myself have said it a time or two. People say the phrase like they think love has hurt them, but in actuality, it was a person, a thing, a wrong decision, a bad mistake, an accident... and so on.

Although, I agree with not having someone say they love me unless they really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it. I mean, who wouldn't, if you're with someone in a committed relationship, more than likely wouldn't you think they were being sincere? It's hard not to actually fall in love with the idea of falling in love. It's every little girl's dream to one day be swept off their feet by some handsome fellow. I can remember day's of dreaming up idea's of how my knight and shining armor would come rescue me from my tower. It's quite funny to reminisce on actually.

An idea I like is the principle of having two loves in your life. The first love is the one that you think sweeps you off your feet, the one that you are so easy to fall head over heels for. You imagine your future with them, and have difficulty picturing that future without them in it, but then things go array. Everything is magic until it becomes routine, the little things they used to do to make you happy may fade, or even disappear. They begin to change the way you view yourself and the way you view the world around you. The facade of this perfect and ideal love is shifting it's shape into something new and unfamiliar to you. The feelings that you once had fade into something you did not expect, something you no longer enjoy, and as much as it pains you, you must sooner or later face that fact that the 'love' you once had is now gone. You may even begin thinking to yourself, "I'll be unhappy now, because it will make me happier later, because that's how the fairy tale story works." Staying with something in hopes of being happy later, but having no guarantees of that happiness is a sad excuse for not accepting the truth. I know this idea far too well.

When you are young it is said that everything feels like the end of the world, and usually once this love fades and breaks into little pieces that may be how you feel. It's hard to get rid of the empty void that was once filled with good times, romantic adventures, thoughts and moments surrounding the other. Every little thing has the potential of reminding you of the one you are trying so hard to forget, and it seems the harder you try the worse it becomes. And one of the things that will hurt the most is pretending that it doesn't hurt at all.

I'm not saying that one should not jump head first and take a chance on love because all relationships end this way, for that is not true. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. Wouldn't you much rather love than not love at all?

"If I have given my all and still do not win, I haven't lost. Others might remember the winning or the losing; I remember the journey."

You'll begin to move on, attempt to pick up the shambled pieces, but never are successfully able to do it entirely on your own, but it is greatly possible to become happy. You do not need a relationship to be happy, it's just nice to have one sometimes. It's nice to feel needed, loved, to have a hand to hold, and all of the above, but you can definitely get by satisfactorily or even joyfully without one. Happiness is something I believe can be created. It's not something that is just going to magically appear, you have to make it appear. Do the little things that make you smile. Dance in the rain, just because you can. Surround yourself by those that can make you laugh. Sing a song out of tune, just for the heck of it. Go on a road trip with no destination, just because you can. Remind yourself of all the wonderful blessings God create. Sleep outside under the stars.. and so on.

Don't sit back and miss out on life just because you want to still experience things with the one you loved. Show them, and more importantly, show yourself that you are a strong being and can make it through anything. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

Change is inevitable, people change, things change, we change. The moment we stop changing is the moment that are lives will be complete. We often just sit back and wait for change, but why wait when you can make some changes yourself? Just make sure the changes that you make are changes for the better, and if something isn't changing how you would like it to, change your view point on the situation.

On another thought, I should introduce you to the second love of your life. When it comes to true love and happiness, it can be looked at as a grand example of the waiting game. You aren't necessarily looking for them, that's the best part, the second love of your life is the one that is unexpected. Things will begin to click and fit together in ways that you thought you once knew, but could only imagine. You'll be afraid to let down the walls that you had previously built up, but the second person will be understanding and patient and carefully chisel the pieces of the wall down, bit by bit. Then slowly but surely they will begin to take all the little pieces of you that were broken and shattered once you had lost the first and carefully put them back together after. They make you regain faith in the silly little word called love. That's just what love is.. a silly little word.. that is, until you give the word meaning. The second love of you life will be the person that gives that word meaning.

If you really think about it, you can have many "first loves" in your life, but you will only have one true second love. It takes work, a lot of pain, difficult and lonely times to find your second love, but once you have found them, the strife of the first loves will be minuscule, and hidden within your past. You'll know longer worry about the what if's, or we should've done this, or could've done that, if it was meant to be with them it would happen. You wouldn't have such pain, or worries of it not working out.

With the second love you may face difficult times, but you get through those difficult times, you see the light shining through, very bright at the end of the tunnel.


It is written in the 13th chapter of 1st Corinthians, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.." and so on, and it is so very true! God has created a love for us that will surpass what we receive during the times with our firsts.

When you lose everything you want, you find the one thing you need.

This truly has been one big ramble of thoughts, I could continue on all day, but if so, I might as well just write a book!

I am going to end this with the following:
I watched you walk out of my life once more, and unlike before it did not make me bitter or cynical about love... but rather, it made me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, just imagine how beautiful it will be when the right one, my second, comes along. :)

Okay... Rant Begin.. ACTION!

Be prepared, the next excerpt from my life will be unlike the two previous postings, this is no way near completely how I am feeling at the current moment. Actually, just a small little piece, but it needs to get out, needs to be heard, whether someone really reads it or not.

You infuriate me, you really do. Here I am just getting back from a wonderful day at the pinnacles and all I can think about is how much of a sleazy liar you are. You were supposed to be MY friend. I have been there for you with so much, I thought you were there for me but obviously I was too stupid to actually give you the benefit of the doubt. I am feeling beyond betrayed. I really shouldn’t let this get to me, but it does, it has and will continue to do so until I can just get over the fact that you were never a true friend. Karma… oh, sweet, sweet karma, what comes around goes around. One day you will need me and I will NOT be there.

Okay, that isn’t true, because I can’t just abandon someone, no matter how horrible they treated me, sometimes it’s a tragic flaw, a blessing and a curse. At least I will have the ability to say that I never did what you have done. I just don’t understand you. I really should just step back from the situation as I have been doing… but it just gets really old.

You will learn the hard way someday, and I won’t allow myself to be there to pick the pieces up, I will want to, because that’s just who I am, but everything within me will fight not to. I see where your priorities lie. I don’t know why I ever inhabited mine with you.

Okay, Rant over. Annnnnd SCENE.

If blogs are supposed to be short snidbits of thought.. I have failed/

So who would’ve thought I’d actually follow through with the whole “making a blog for the heck of it,” thing, OR would’ve thought I’d find myself sitting here not even 12 hours later wanting to do this thing called blogging once more.. OH THE HUMANITY! :O I have yet to decide if this is going to be one of those blogs that have some sort of witty point, or discuss the latest topics in the world. I’m assuming not, which I’m fine with… I’m sure there are hundreds of thousands of blogs similar to that… is just going to be… exactly what I named it! Haha, I knew I felt the name was right. These will just be rants of the heart’s desire, little moments and thoughts pertaining to my life captured in one collective writing.

As I type this I am unsure what I want to share with whoever happens to stumble upon my blog, but if the individual that does were truly intelligent, they would begin to pick up on the little things that lie within these mere words, see past what I presenting but see the meaning behind it. No worries, I’ve yet to figure out the meaning of this one as well. I’m probably not making any sense at the current moment but that tends to happen to those who are sleep deprived.


I’m excited for the activities that are on my agenda today, for I am going hiking at the Pinnacles in Berea. It’s a beautiful place to be, surrounded by nothing but nature. It’s quite the piece of work to get through but I believe it is completely worth it in the end. You feel somewhat of accomplishment when you finally reach the destination of the top and can look out over the ledge and see nothing but a beautiful view surrounding you. It makes you forget about all of the trouble you may have had getting there, but for that one little moment, everything is just fine. I like the idea of being separated of the daily worries of my life, even if it is just for a small moment, to enjoy the wonders of God’s creation and beauty. I have never been on the trail that we are going today, but from pictures I can just imagine how it will be, the view is going to be simply breath taking, and I can’t wait!

Another thing I can’t wait for is camp. I have exactly one week until camp begins, and I am thrilled. Camp is something that is been in my life since I was 8 years old; I have so many memories surrounding camp and hold them very dear to my heart. I am excited for the bonds that will be made, bonds that aren’t made with just the fellow staffers, but the closer bond that I will have to God. Going to college changes things a lot, puts a new perspective on your world. Sometimes, no matter how strong you think you are, how long you’ve gone to church, how often you pray… you can still fall to the temptations of this world. That’s normal, no one is asking you to be perfect, and if they are they need to take a glance in the mirrors at themselves. The whole point of this is that I miss being on that level with someone, having that close bond. Knowing that no matter what may happen I have someone there for me that loves me wholly for who I am. Not for whom I am not. It excites me, and I can’t wait to spend time with the campers, the whole week we spend our time becoming close to them, hopefully impacting them for the better.

I’ve realized that if blogs are supposed to be short, snidbits of thought, then I have surely failed, but you know what? I’m okay with that. This is one thing I don’t mind to fail at. It’s good to get ones thoughts out of your mind, although that just leaves room for more to come. My mind constantly spins with thought, sometimes it’s the same thoughts over and over, but other times it’s something different than the norm and I like it. A good example of that would be oregano… but for anyone who doesn’t know the meaning of what was meant of that word… you shall never know!

I suppose I am going to start preparing for the day, but before I do I will share a GMH. By the way, the one from yesterday was one that I wrote about my mother. ;)

I was on my way home from a difficult day at work and sat at a stop light crying,

I looked over and this little old man with a cowboy hat was singing country.

That alone brought a smile to my face but when he looked at me and saw my tears he pretended to lasso and pull me in.

Cute old men who know exactly what a girls dream man would do GMH.

Give me hope. An attempt at this thing called blogging.

Sometimes I think I should start a blog, but I never follow through with that decision. I often begin typing in a word document, just as I am now, attempting to put all of my thoughts in one collective writing. I can just imagine how they travel from my brain, through my body out my finger tips, gracefully etching them out onto the computer screen, but then the thoughts begin pouring out even faster. They begin clouding my mind, attacking the pathway that was one smooth and free flowing, but is now resembling something similar to what one might see when thinking of a corroded artery, or even easier to imagine, an ever increasing in speed game of Tetris. Think about it now, how in the beginning the pieces fall slowly making it easy to fit together, but in no time they begin to pile up making it difficult to continue on, even frequently causing the game to end. Thus, this is what happens when I begin to blog. I get sidetracked too often than not, or I can’t fully express how I feel and become frustrated with the fact that it can be difficult to get my point across.

Then there is another roadblock that hinders me from successful blogging… the fact that I have A.D.D. flowing through my mentality almost every second of the day, which includes when I am sleeping. Let’s not touch the subject of my dreams at this current point in time though, for that would take far too much time than what I am willing to spend attempting to explain.

I am not quite so sure why I am typing right now, or what my whole purpose of this festivity could be… I suppose I just need to talk, which I haven’t verbally done all day, minus asking my father one question. It can be quite depressing at times, but if people only knew that I often go for such long periods of time before truly talking to someone maybe they would understand why sometimes I have so much to say.

Alas, I once again have become distracted… by one of the biggest distractions of all time.. Le Facebook.. go figure… Call me Mr. Facebook, I can make your grades drop… and make your dog go unfed… and your computer die a slow and painful death… and your eyes hurt for staring too long… and so many other innumerable travesties.

Anywho, doing this now reminds me of how I used to wanted to be writer when was younger, but then I came across the realization that I don’t even have any excellent capabilities when comes to writing. Also, there is a part of me that only truly enjoys writing when it is done at a period of time that I want to do it. I have to be in the mood to write, and when I was younger that was all the time. It’s strange to have that craving once again. I hope it stays, but honestly there is no telling with me.

I haven’t decided yet whether or not I am actually going to post this, I kind of don’t even care if anyone reads it, but deep down there is a part of me that hopes I do post this and continue to post it. I hope that maybe one day something I write will touch the life of another. I mean, that is a goal that I think everyone should make for them self… do something within your life that affects someone positively. Give a flower to someone with a hurting heart, listen to someone who is in need of a friend, and lend a helping hand to a person who is struggling…

I suppose what has gotten me into the whole kick of writing again has been the website www.givesmehope.com. It truly touches me; it’s the type of inspiration I have been yearning for. If you haven’t seen it then the best suggestion that I have for you would be to stop what you are doing an go and read it right this instant! What you will read on that site can touch you far more easily than anything I am attempting to say.

I should probably end this cluster of thoughts I am titling a blog, for who would want to read so much nonsense anyhow, and make a blog account! Oh, haha, silly me…

Here is a GMH that is personal to me:

Reading the stories on this site remind me of how when I was little my mom always gave me money for offering, even though we could barely pay the bills for ourselves.

She would always tell me "because there is always someone worse off than you."

selfless moms like her GMH.