Forever has to start somewhere.

It’s Crazy. Simply crazy I tell you. What is crazy, you may be asking? Well the fact that I haven’t updated my blog in such a long time, practically three quarters of a year! I am slightly disappointed in myself for once again failing at this thing called blogging.

There’s no telling how many times I started a blog though, there have been countless moments of me beginning one and never finishing it, or finishing it and not submitting it. I don’t get. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore the whole idea of blogging, I just simple can’t stick with it.

I really, really hope that one day I will be able to though. I love the ability to get my thoughts down and have them to share with others. Also, it archives a certain point and aspect of my life at the time that I write it, I can look back on and reminisce on with new eyes. Eyes that slightly are bit wiser and understanding of the events that were happening in my life that at that point in time I may not have understood.

My last blog was a tough one. One that I sometimes don’t even want to read because it reminds me of things that once used to be. It was a blog that held a sense of hope of a better tomorrow, but underneath the facade of the words I wrote I was filled with a broken heart, and sorrow. I felt as if I were in a rut. I was at the point of my life where I knew that things were really not as bad as they seemed and that they would one day get much better, it was just the whole waiting process for that day to come that I was having difficulty with.

Looking back on that time in my life now, I do not have any regrets. I don’t wish to go back and change the way that things ended up. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize the way my life is now. Things are finally starting to come together it seems, although there are still times when I feel as if my life is continually falling apart. I can now say with confidence, for the FIRST time in my life, I feel as if I have found that one person that I am truly meant to be with. That’s so strange and surreal to me. For once things just fit together wholly and naturally. I have found someone that loves me for me. Someone who I know is never going anywhere. Someone that no matter how many times I screw up, or do terrible things, still cares about me and helps me through any obstacle I face.



Sometimes I feel as if I push my limits merely to see if he will leave, or if things really aren’t as great as they seem. That’s a terrible flaw of mine. It’s hard to consistently keep faith in something that has always been dreamed of but always remained foreign. That silly little word called love.

A true and working relationship requires so much work, and I am so glad to say that I have found someone who thinks that I am worth the effort. Nathan Joseph Underwood. <3

He is my rock, my supporter, my best friend. He is who I go to when I’m in need. He’s who I go to when I want to have fun. I thank God as often as I can for him, but nearly enough. We worship Christ together, and I love it. It’s really the simple things that we share that make me love him more and more each day. I am so lucky to have him, and I hope I never take that for granted.

Next month will be our six month anniversary. I can’t even believe it.

I was so hesitant coming into the relationship. I had no idea what was in store for me, whatsoever.

It was a GIANT leap of fate, and he caught me, telling me that “Forever has to start somewhere.”

Things are always ending. Whether it is a day, the month, the season, the year, or simply just life, so the thought of forever constituting the fact of having something that never ends? It scares the poppycock out of me.
Or maybe the thing that scares me the most is…

He’s right.
Forever DOES have to start somewhere.

And now it’s my turn to take my writings of my previous blog and apply them to the here and now.

Nathan Joseph Underwood, I, without a doubt in my heart and soul would just like you to know…
You are my second.

Who cares if we have so much more life ahead of us? Who cares if everyone thinks we’re crazy? Who cares if my heart and mind have battled long?

It’s our time now.

I thank the people in your life that have loved you. I thank the people in your life that you have loved. I thank the people that have crushed you. I thank the people that have made you who you are so that you are able to love me.

I leave you with this:
Love is the most dangerous and addictive drug out there, but it leaves you with a high like no other. One that is worth all the risks of this world.

"Remember when I said forever and always, I meant it. I will always love you, no matter what."

Your unconditional love throughout everything GMH.