Forever has to start somewhere... and it starts today!

It's been an incredibly long time since I have blogged. Which isn't completely unexpected, especially considering that I have mentioned several times that I'm absolutely terrible at keeping up with the consistency of a blog... but here I sit, watching Drop Dead Divas, and I have the strongest urge to blog.

A lot of things have changed since I blogged last. I quit my job at Student Affairs for another job at what I used to consider to be my summer home. After God unveiled some difficult truths to me I ended up at Big Lots. Charming... right? It hasn't been totally awful. I've actually been there for over a year now and have gained some great people in my life.

Not only have my jobs changed, so has Nathan's. For awhile he moved to LEX18, and now he is back to ABC36.

Oh, and another thing that has occurred.... Nathan is now my HUSBAND.

Yep.

:)

We got married almost a month ago on June 22 at the Heritage House Bed & Breakfast. The ceremony was wonderful and beautiful. There's only a few things that I would have wanted to change, but even so, it was literally the best day of my life! The scary thing is the fact that it almost didn't happen. Just one week before our big day Nathan started getting a sharp pain in his hand, by the following Monday his hand had swelled triple the normal size. It was painful and scary, and due to lack of insurance Nathan had been trying with all of his might to avoid any hospital bills. To much avail he ended up hospitalized two days before our wedding and had to have an emergency surgery. I was scared. Hurt. Numb. Mad... and most of all disappointed, as was he. I could see the hurt in his eyes and he repeatedly said, "I want our wedding to be perfect for you. If I am in the hospital there's no chance of that". I was upset at the fact that all of our plans seemed to be ruined, but that feeling was NOTHING in comparison to the pain I felt at how he seemed to feel guilty, like he could control what had happened and that it was all his fault.

All of my life I had heard of people saying that they were mad at God... or sermon's about others laying blame on him. I never thought I'd be one of those people, but as I was driving home alone from Lexington to Richmond, all the tears that I had held in began pouring out of my eyes and I just wanted to scream and yell. I kept asking God "Why, why did this happen? What is going on? What did we do to deserve this?!"I felt ridiculous because I have always known that God doesn't purposely hurt us, but instead does things that we can't even begin to understand that is all part of a larger picture. Things had just been so rough for us, it's like it's constantly one thing after another. I mean, just two weeks prior to this Nathan had severely sprained his ankle and I had a third degree burn on my stomach... and to think that then my only worry was his ability to walk down the aisle!

Even with the worry about what was to come, Nathan's hospitalization reminded me of all the reasons of why I fell in love with him in the first place. The past year has been so difficult, lost jobs, financial struggles, family arguments, stupid mistakes, lack of time... etc. I had been praying to God for the past few weeks to teach me to love Nathan even more, to feel the same way I did when the thought of a future with him was just a hope and dream. Stupid me... God was giving me just what I had asked for! Granted, it is far far far from what I may have ever imagined.

Nathan's sickness also opened a gateway that I was beginning to think of as a lost cause. There has always been some tension that existed between my then future-mother-in-law. I don't quite know how to explain it. Most people say it is typical for that to happen, but I had never personally experienced such desire to please someone in that kind of situation with no success. Not to boast or anything, but I have always been the type of person that parents love, the one that they want their child to be around, so she was definitely a challenge for me. After Nathan's surgery the doctor came and got the two of us, he said that there was no way that Nathan would be able to go on our honeymoon, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to go to the wedding. Diane just grabbed me and hugged me and told me that she was so sorry. That was the first time in almost three years that she had ever given me a hug. It was a small gesture, but it sure made a large impact.

For the next two days a lot of pain, struggles, tests of strength, prayers and a lot of hard work from strangers and Nathan was able to be released from the hospital to get married! I couldn't have been more excited. I was lacking in sleep and nutrition, and was overall stricken with worry, but none of that matter because I knew that I got to marry my best friend.

With a lot of hardwork from some amazing people, our dream wedding was coming to life. I couldn't wait to see him, and boy when I did, I couldn't contain my happiness!

So what if he had a huge cast on his hand... we did JUST say "in sickness and in health" .... right? I am so thankful to have such an amazing man in my life, and I am thankful for all the other wonderful people that I have too. I could go on and on all day about the details and perks of the ceremony, but I may save those for a future blog post. :)

We spent the first two weeks of marriage with daily hospital visits, and consistent medical bills piling up. As his hand heals and the bills linger, I am just happy and statisfied knowing that God is going to see us through. It will take a lot of hard work, faith, love and prayers, but I just know it will be okay.

Because dreams do come true...